Everyone talks like that. Very superhero of you. Alright, sweet. Now I can do this. It just broke the whole damn thing. Is it supposed to do that? Can I knock this off? Um, well that’s inconvenient. How do I get up there then? I think that this was not quite the right thing to do. So I’m gonna leave. Hey you leave that kitty alone. Let me uh… What the heck is this? Oh. You’re right dude. Hahah. Is this their health or some sh*t? F*cking nice. F*cking nice. I guess so dude. [ chuckles ] I would but I only have this many. What, combat challenge? Heroes get an advantage. Heroes and enemies are evenly matched. Uh what’s the point of doing this?
Do I get more stuff for doing it? I’m just gonna go with this one,
seems this is like normal. Combat challenge. Ok. Gotta change that like every time or some crap. Like what’s up with that? Does this hit both? No it only hits… oh. Only pick one. [ laughs ] Craig is like wake me up
when… whatever. Ok um. You have less health ‘cause ‘cause you’re on fire. [ chuckles ] No! What are you trying to do?
Get away from me. Haha! You’re on fire. Oh I thought I could press something. Oh. At the end. [ laughs ] Dumbass on fire. Oh god, they’re all targeting me. Jesus dude! You can heal right? Heal me bro. This is healing. Pull close and heeeal. Nice. [ chuckles ] Wh… why’d you copy it? Craig’s blocking power allows him to
deflect damage. What does that mean? Deflect damage until the character’s next turn. Ok. When blocking, a character is only hurt if knocked back
or hit with enough damage to break the block. Try Craig’s blocking power by pressing Y. “F*ck you.” So rude. Ok can I just stand here and block then? Gain block and inflict enraged. I don’t see the point of this but sure. Ok. Thanks for explaining it dude.
[ chuckles ] It’s amazing. I will, as soon as I figure out this sh*t. I wish I had a move that attacks all those
in front of me but I don’t man, f*ck. Probably should’ve did the whole f*cking um… whatchamacallit? Punching thing. Thingamabob. The brutalist whatever the f*ck. This is the items menu. What? Oh. Oh I see. I don’t need that. Can you cancel? I don’t need to use items dude. What was I trying to do? I was trying to do this. [ laughs ] You wish! Oh god I’m grossed out. That’s why I needed to use items. F*ck. [ laughs ] I didn’t see that… I mean… I guess I should have. Oh it sucks real bad.
Can you heal me again dude? I’mma have to cure my grossed out. I love how they’re all burning to death though. What are you throwing? No! What? Oh it’s your turn.
I was like what’s happening. Uh yea I’m gonna pull you back and heal you. Heal up. Thanks, you pulled me
out of the danger zone. Yea you might wanna move outta the way. Um. The hell can you do? What does this do? Inflicts slow and knockback,
but there’s no one in front of you. Is there… I can’t do anything. Can I… Does this work here? Nope.
It’s only right in front isn’t it? Can you use an item? Uh, cancel this first. I guess antidote. Wait, ah crap. Only use it on their own. That’s not what I wanted to do. No. Thought you could use it on a teammate.
Is that not how it works? I guess this is only used on yourself. Well that’s stupid. Oh dear lord. Ok um. I’mma attack you. Piss balloon? Ew. Truly the worst. Ha! Ew, what the… I thought it was gonna stay there for
a second. I was like no, don’t do that. Can you hit this dude? Laser eyes. F*ck yea, you can hit this dude. Pew pew. You lost big time! [ chuckles ] Little bit far, I can’t hit you. Sh*t bro, all your things hit straight on. Do you still need to heal?
Maybe you need to heal. That’s not what that does. Um. You’re not the healing dude.
Ohh god. What should I do? Can’t really do anything. Does this… Why can’t I walk… Oh you can’t walk there. What the f*ck dude. Well then you can’t do sh*t. Yea I know. [ scoffs ] Assblaster. Ultimate ready. He’s doing it again. That ass. Well he’s gonna die anyway. Laser death. This is overkill but you know. We sure did. Armageddon leaf, oh I got another artifact. We sure do guys. Oh. [ laughs ] They just leave. Uh what the hell. Though we were a team. Geez. Assholes. Wait get… what? Was that it? What’s after this? There’s nothing under this.
I guess I should just go do this then. Uhh mark that. And I think it’s this way. Tom’s Rhinoplasty. W-what? It’s like I’m walking around, all of a sudden
Cartman’s like wait wait wait. Quest! What? Jesus christ. Thanks for all the quests I guess. What those numbers mean though?
I guess they’re experience points maybe. Main Street. What the hell? Hazard alert. The road to Raisins
is blocked by stupid lava. The alley on Main Street is clear though. Thanks dude. Just hanging with my girl lexus you know. Oh nice, now I got four combat buddies. Or not four, three. Hey there’s a missing poster thing. Just stealing. [ laughs ] Ok. God, wish there’s a fast way of viewing my quest. Ok so, I guess I gotta do all these. I think the blue ones are the main quests, right? Mosquito in a honeypot. Where’s this? Go to school. Ooh these two are on the far side.
I think this is the closest one. Maybe. Where the hell am I? I’m over here. Yea it’s the closest one. Ok let’s do Mosquito next. I don’t think this artifact is better than what I have. This one I think. Yea. Sticking with the thing I currently have. Porsche. Why that guy keep
talking about frickin’ cars? Frickin’ weirdo. Oh what’s this? Cheesing vial? It’s just weird stuff going on here. Raisins… What? Heard a cat. It’s a frickin’ construction site. Hey there’s a cat over here. Over there. Hey kitty cat. Oh ok. You weren’t the kitty cat I needed anyway. Need the other one. Can I get the thing up there? Is that a thing I can get? Oh hey random person passing by in a construction site. Oh I gotta poop in this one too? Good god. Oh wait. Poopsies. I guess this one needs to be
slower. Is that what it means? I don’t get it. Ok. Oh god, uh… Don’t look! I’m just pooping. [ chuckles ] People passing by while I’m pooping. Uhh geez. Goodness this one needs a lot of poops. God it’s so long. It’s like you fill it up and
then you gotta poop it out. Gross. Alright got some stuff. Can I leave now? Oh wait, there’s something up there. Can I… Ok. What’s that? How do I get it to come down? Can I get it to come down? Doesn’t seem like it. Hmm. Maybe I don’t have the
necessary power for it yet. I’ll come back for you. Can you hit these things? Oh, broken thing. Got some cheese. Oops, missed. Think that might be a different
thing. Maybe you gotta I don’t know, fart on it or something. I don’t know. Yea, I don’t know. Planned parenthood. Who are you? I am perfection, ok. I was trying to hit the trash can,
you were just in the way. Am I going towards the right
way? Where the hell am I? Those look like some meanies. What? I know dude. I’m trying to look at the map. Go away. Not that, map. Oh, Mosquito thing is all the way there. Uhh! Hold up. Oh geez. A little afwaid. Sh*t. [ chuckles ] Wanted to fart on you dude. Heh, he’s grossed out and on fire. You sure are dude. [ chuckles ] At least they’re a little less
annoying about the whole ‘can you hurry the f*ck up’ kind of thing. Oh we’re the same type. “Way to move like you give a fuck.” Oh Craig. Eww. God I need some antidotes for that crap. Sh*t they hurt a lot dude. These six graders are not to be trifled with. Can he die from being grossed
out and burnt already? Ooh boy. Alright heal me dude, sh*t. I love how he heals you and pulls you back. [ laughs ] You sure are dude. What can you heckin’ do? Um. Nothing really. Does this hit that far? Don’t think so. Oh you can hit this dude. But it’s only… wait. Slow and knockback. Yea I’mma do that. [ laughs ] Craig you’re so relatable. Oh his danger zone went back too. That’s interesting. Ok first I have to get rid of the status effect so I think it’s this thing. Nice. It heals your health too. That’s really good. Ok. Damn so it’s like you can only do one thing per turn. I was hoping you do an item
and you could attack. Ugh so it’s like you have to move first and then do whatever action you want. Goddamn dude. Ok what can this do? Strike a foe from range. Actually are your stuff the same as mine? Swap spots with an ally and heal them.
I don’t need to heal right now. I guess I’ll just attack. And now you don’t! Oh. Wait. Why you grossed out? Also you’re invisible? That dude… Oh I thought he… Eww gross. I was like why’s that guy not dead.
He got back up, he’s just leaving. Oh jesus f*ck dude. They deal
crazy amounts of damage. [ laughs ] I gotta frickin’ retreat and heal man. This is ridiculous. Ha. Can you piss on your own dude?
That would be amazing. Nice! Killed your own dude, you dumbass. Um. I can’t heal, right? Oh I got the special thing. I don’t wanna waste it on that guy. Is this… wait, how does this work? Oh. Ugh that’s a waste to do on that guy though. Think I might… ugh think I’ll kill you but I also feel like I should heal you. Sh*t man, decisions decisions. Ok I’m gonna heal you. ‘cause you’re in a pretty bad state. I do deserve it. [ laughs ] Alright how much health you got? I can’t… Why’d you get… Ok why do they just randomly get up and leave? So frickin’ weird. Wait how
much health this guy have? Oh he still kinda has a good amount. Unless I do this. Right? Strike… Or Stripe and Super Craig double charge a foe. Hmm I don’t know dude. Maybe this one. [ scoffs ] “Ahah.” Oh my god, it’s a real guinea pig. That’s hilarious. That’s cute as sh*t. Yea I will give him hell with this move! See? Pincer attack. Sack of spitballs? Gross. Hey look, they’re gone. Ok. No. [ chuckles ] Hello. What’d you call me?! You’re right. You wanna join? What’d this bitch call me? Rude as hell. “Pardon me.” [ laughs ] Hey I’m a fourth grader. I can be
as much of a dick as I want. I mean they’re fine in whatever-D. Ok I gotta keep going up I think to get to the Mosquito thing. Except I’m going the wrong way. I wish I can run as fast as I can in battle. Then I just speed my way there. Ooh getting money for that. I still don’t
know how to get that damn cheese but I’mma get it one of these days.