Yea you better. Yea. No drunk driving. Especially when there’s so many
kids playing out on the streets. Hey we leveled up. What do I get? I got another slot. I can equip one more thing now. Literally no one knows about your cat. Wha…? What, why you here? We’re having a superhero meeting? [chuckles] O…k. What? Really? “Where do the cats go?” Who just came in? Uh, mom? Oh snap. We’re past our curfew. Yea you too Classi. Go home everybody. [laughing] Stripper woman. Ok. Well, meeting adjourned. Good morning South Park. That was a lot to take in. Was it us? Who the heck are those? Were those
the dudes that got beat up by Randy? Oh that’s definitely me. Just horrifying. [chuckles] What, I didn’t even get the chance to fart yet. Farted like… a few times. Actually I didn’t even get to
fart on them ‘cause Randy came in all red wine drunk and just beat up everyone. Three seasons. We’re only
on the second season. Many sidekicks. Hey don’t you be rude to Captain Diabetes. Who the heck is this?
Another bad government guy? Wait, these are the dudes. Fartin’. So many gang affiliations. Which is what? There are aliens, again. What? For what? Uh, you… what? That’s why you kidnapped the cats? Gross. Cheese. It always cheese, man,
when it comes to the drugs. The sixth graders. [chuckles] These guys are like “This is above my pay grade.” We were superhero-ing. They’re so bad at their covers
but it’s just that nobody cares. We all know it’s you Cartman. What’s… oh I’m transforming? I was like what’s he doing holding
his arms out like “I don’t care.” Oh wrong way, sorry. I’m still new to this superhero business. Hey there kid. [laughs] “How do you do that?”
It’s called a transformation sequence. Get learned. Um wait, what am I doing? Why can’t I click my… my menu? Can I click my menu please? That’s not what I want to do. Why can’t I click my menu anymore?
Why you gotta do this to me game? I was trying to look at my… what? Ok. Coon out. So… um. What the hell’s going on? Ok hold up. Something is wrong with my keys. Ok guys, sorry about that. I am back. For some reason, the game was not registering button clicks or whatever the heck so
I had to close and reopen the game. To your house actually.
Is there a fast travel point there? Can I… I can’t. [laughs] Uhh. I’m working on it! Fine. I’ll just go here. Sheesh. You know, Jimmy feels like there should be a fast
travel point by your house. I mean maybe there is and
I just didn’t activate it yet but I’m just saying. Knock knock. Oh. Hey you’re just here huh. Superhomie. [laughs] Yea you shouldn’t
be asking me for the job. What kind of medication?
Am I getting drugs for you? Oh are we working on your project? The what? What’s happening? [laughs] High pain threshold. Inhuman accuracy. Mutant strength. What does that do? Um excuse me. What? It’s like so much stuff you can modify in this. [reads text] I guess this is your project. Oh really? Uh huh. So high pain threshold. [reads text] So what does that do? Ok it just gives me more health
but it makes me stupid? But what does that mean? It seems like I do less damage. That would be lame. I want more damage. [reads text] Interesting. Brains means damage? But shouldn’t that be brawn? Ok so brains is like elemental crap. Strength is the punchy stuff. [reads text] Hmm. Yea well I’m a speedster. I’m not exactly a punchy dude. That’s more brutalist but I mean
I kinda am so I don’t know. So this one ups my brawn. Actually it just ups my brawn. It doesn’t decrease anything, does it? I don’t really want more health for the
sake of doing less damage though. But I don’t necessarily want less health. I mean yea I know there’s tradeoffs. Maybe I’ll just get this so I can deal more damage. Pretty dang good. Maybe now your parents
will take pictures with me. Ok. I guess that’s what I came here for. Alright, thanks for the… Why are there so many newspapers here? Thanks for the DNA upgrade. Maybe now I can take pictures with… Well your parents aren’t here. Don’t judge! Hey where your parents? Oh hey. Mom, picture? [chuckles] Now I’m his friend. Alright mom. Get, get in this man. Mrs. Valmer. Ok where’s dad? Oh here you are. I sure will. [chuckles] So that was his project. Oh look, dad’s already smiley and all giddy. Well thanks guys. [reads text] My parents are proud. Don’t you talk about my parents. So where do I go now? Um, Medicinal Fried Chicken. Is that a… Is that a main quest? It is. Why? Oh is that where your medicine is? Medicinal Fried Chicken?! Really?! What’s this? What, what the hell’s this then? O…k I guess I’m gonna get ambushed. Weird. [reads text] Uh. What do you mean? Is your cousin back? Dude, I’m on my way to do a fricking quest. I mean I guess I’ll go there. For you, Kyle. Yea, right here. Awesome! Catch you later alligator. Is this the house? Oh hey bullies. Nah I don’t wanna
deal with you right now. I gotta go deal with Kyle 2 right now. Hey. He’s back. Noooo. [sighs] Must I? Oh what cheats are you gonna use this time? I’m not the bully. The bullies
are outside your house. Or Kyle 1’s house. Alright do I wanna switch my parties? So you’re a brutalist. I don’t need two brutalists. That’s a whole thing. Hmm. But should I stick with Craig or you? Super strong. Super pissed. Um. Wait we’re all fighting one kid? Yea I don’t know. Ok I’m gonna switch… Wait I can’t use you, right? ‘cause you said you can’t be involved. Um, should I use Mosquito? I don’t really like using Mosquito.
I don’t know why. I feel like he’s kinda weak. But let’s try that. Defeat the
imposter Human Kite again. Is that a clue that I should summon Moses? How far away… You are so far away. Can I hit these? Oh I can hit them. Hey I parted your red sea. Oh do you now? Can you hit this thing? Get cooned. What are you doing? You know what?
I’m gonna cancel your turn ‘cause no turn for you. Ha. [chuckles] That’s what you get for cheating
the last time we fought. You are probably way too far
for me to do anything, right? I love how you can still use your moves
even though they don’t do crap. Hey it gets me further so I’m gonna use it. Yea your turn. Can you charge on ahead? I guess you can’t huh.
‘cause there’s nothing to hit. Well crap. Going for blood indeed. Aw crap, I’m blocked? Um, yea I guess you are blocked.
There’s just so much crap here. Break all of these for me please. Are we through now? Ugh there’s so much crap blocking. This little cheaterskate, man. Oh messed that up. It doesn’t matter. It’s an inanimate object. Uh what are you doing? What the heck? Why do you get to hit many… multiple… you know, whatever. Alright I’m gonna punch or should
I do this? Hmm, let me do this. Slow you down. Chill you out. You’re not getting mine.
I don’t even have a sweater. Yea you can go. Can you hit him? Excellent. Dang. [chuckles] Ow ow ow ow. Yea ow indeed. Ooh, ultimate ready already. Wow you are so going down. Well that’s what happens when you have
a whole bunch of kids gang up on one kid. Which is literally what’s happening right here. You’re welcome Kyle 1. Oh no, do you hulk out like Captain Diabetes? [scoffs] What? [laughs] Your hair’s getting all poofy. Oh no. How can you? Oh no. He’s just the worst. Do I have to fight her? I will fight you Aunt Sheila. Is she literally coming into the battlefield? Yea get outta here. Oh you’re still here? This is Kyle’s mom, right? Defeat the Broflovskis. What? Protected? [laughs] Daddy’s home. Step aside, Aunt Sheila. This fricking music. Did it break his shield? Well. She entered this battle on her own. Are you in this battle now, Kyle? MY FAMILY. Calm down, Kyle’s mom. Oh what the heck? Why’s she getting so many turns? I won’t but what the heck? Yea I’m about to fricking die or some crap. Um. I don’t even know if we’re
supposed to beat her or not. Well, tell your mom to exit this battle! Ouch! You know Kyle, I would ask you to heal me but you know, kinda beating your
mom’s ass right now so it’s a little bit awkward. Actually should I provoke you? So you hit him instead? ‘cause you know, it’s kinda bad right now. [laughs] Come and get me dick. Oh Craig. Probably should’ve canceled your turn. I’m trying to get my fricking head in the game. It was just I was super distracted is all. Can I still beat Kyle though? That might make more sense right? But he’s goddamn protected.
Fine I’ll beat him instead of your mom. Wait, cancel, cancel. Not your turn. Not your turn. Gotta remember to do that. Kyle, he just like exits the field like
“I don’t wanna get hit by that.” Noo! Ugh. Wait, why are you in this dude? Oh no, she’s gonna fricking kill me. Ahh. I know. God the underside of my head looks really weird. Yea I know, I gotta… I gotta… um. I don’t know if I can though. It’s a bit far isn’t it? Uh so revive serum right? So how do… Just barely there? Wait, oh crap. Wait, hold up. And then… Uh technically that’s mine. I don’t owe you crap. Oh god I’m still dying. This is balls. Uh yea, good luck with that but I got my ultimate. Time to go down Kyle 2. This is my first time using…
no it’s not my first time. Why? Oh god this battle is still going. And then I die again. Ahh I’m dead. Wasting all my fricking items. Kyle your mom sucks. [laughs] “Not gonna cry. Not gonna cry.” I wanna cry. So dead. Um, can I hit you? Do I wanna hit you? [inhales] Ooh god. I should revive ‘cause we’re all kinda dying. [chuckles] So many f*cks to give. I don’t even know what Kyle’s doing.
Are you beating us? Are you fighting us? Technically we are a team but I know
we’re hitting your mom and everything. Oh god another kid dead. Dammit! So many dudes dying in this battle. You should. You have way too many turns.
What are you… are you… Kyle! Goddammit. I… this is not going well. We’re all gonna die. Mayhaps I’m a little under leveled or under might or whatever. Argh god I really wanna take you out.
Are you gonna die though? No you got way too much health.
I think I gotta heal. I gotta heal some peeps but this is my last one. This sucks man. Actually can I walk over here and do it? No reason. Just ‘cause I want to. We’re all so screwed. Think I’m a little unprepared for this battle. I don’t know how I can be more
prepared but I’m unprepared. I’m gonna walk a little bit back I think and I’m gonna try to heal you. Although I probably can’t huh. I have to stand like right here. Wait, not you, heal myself. God I was
like confused who I am for a second. I’m gonna walk all the way here and heal myself. Uh do I want some regeneration? Or should I just have a fricking burrito? He dead ok. Lucky. What, for healing myself? I love Craig just gives the fricking finger. Ugh. I’m giving the most f*cks dude. This battle is just ridiculous. And she gets way too many turns.
What the heck? Yea indeed. Kyle this is all your fault. You made us come here.
Now I gotta deal with this bullsh*t. I gotta slow her down. She’s way too fricking
fast. I don’t know what the hell’s going on ok. Yea I’ve had it with this sh*t too. Mmm you kinda do. Don’t come near me. Oh god. Ugh. Is the ultimate gonna kill her? ‘cause we’re all on our deathbeds. Oh no Craig. You were valiant while you were alive. Jesus f*ck man. You shouldn’t. Stop it Kyle! I hate your ass. I know it’s your mom but you invited
us to come beat your cousin. Now she’s beating our ass ok. It’s uncool. It’s utmost uncool. Will you die if I do this? No. Uh, wait. Your move hits everyone right? But it kinda sucks. Ah sh*t. Fricking hell dude. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna lose this battle.
There’s no way I can win this. It’s a little bit much, you know. I don’t know how we’re gonna do it. Protection broken. Cool. [laughs] [sighs] I’m gonna try.
I’m gonna try for the love of god. Your mom’s down Kyle, just quit the fight. Ok we win.