Noah Grossman’s Penis Popped During Shower Sex – Sex Fails


– Hi, my name is Noah Grossman. I hope you don’t know
what penis popping is. I’m here to tell you a story
I’ve never told anyone, so of course I agreed to put
it on the internet forever. My girlfriend and I
have been together for almost three years. We’re actually still together
at the time of filming this, let’s hope that’s at the
time of publishing this. Over those three years, I
would say we’ve had shower sex four times total. There two showers in my house,
I do live with my parents, and I’m an adult. It’s embarrassing,
comment about it. We’ve had sex in my parents’
shower a couple of times, because they’ve got
a bigger shower. It’s like commercial big. It’s a nice place, it’s
got a little bench. I hope they aren’t
watching this. Well this time, we were
using the other bathroom which is a much smaller shower. It can’t be more than
a three by four space, that even seems
bigger than it is. So my girlfriend and I
are, you know, doing it. (chuckles) So my girlfriend
and I are having some sex. (laughing) So me
and my girlfriend are distributing
to each other sex. You know, it’s going okay
like shower sex does, it’s just kind of okay. I think shower sex is notorious
for just being difficult and not that pleasing,
but you start, and so you gotta finish. Normally, you know, one person
can kind of do the movement. It’s so small that no one
can do a full movement, so we’re both kind of half
moving, Chinese finger trapping. She was ready, she
was like, “Yep,” and then came back, pow, pow. Except instead of inside of her, I hit her butt
cheek and butt bone, parts that are hard
on my soft genitals. So I popped my penis,
my penis is popped, a pop has been made.
(cheek finger pop) But mix that with
like a knuckle crack. (comic pop) I immediately kind
of went into shock. I knew what it meant, but
I didn’t want to think about what it meant. A chill rushing through
my body, I was in a shower of hot water, but
I was freezing. Total anxiety in my
body, I was like, “No, there’s no way that
my penis just broke. “That couldn’t be what happened. “It must’ve been my
knee, anything else. “Let’s keep going.” She obviously is like, “No,
that was a pop, I heard it, “and I also felt it.” She immediately starts crying. I put on my glasses
and I look down, it’s there, it’s
still in one piece, but it’s quickly losing
strength (laughs), do I wanna say strength? There was no blood,
skin didn’t tear, half of my dick was
normal and the other half was like a sunset, hues
of purple, hues of red. She’s like, “It’s my fault,
it’s my fault, it’s my fault “your dick’s never
gonna work again.” It’s like, “Hey, hold up,
we don’t know that yet.” I Google it, “I broke
my penis, what do I do? “Penis broke, help”. Wrong thing to Google,
don’t Google broken penis. Instead, Google
“penile fractures” because that’s what I have. A penile fracture is
essentially a popping or breaking of one of
the fluid filling canals that give you an erection. Penis is in between my two
ballasts, pop a ballast and it’s squirts, and this
is all inside of the penis. It’s like a boat that
can no longer float, except it’s my penis
and it’s leaking blood. Strangest corner of the
internet you can go to. Who knew minor penile fractures
is some weird sex kink. That’s right, penis popping
is apparently very popular in Saudi Arabia. They’ll literally take
the heard of their penis and like (pops lips), weird,
so weird, I don’t know. I don’t have an answer
for you, all I read was those sentences. I don’t think it made me
feel more comfortable, but it definitely
made me feel like what happened to my
penis was more normal, and maybe I’m just a weirdo
for not finding pleasure in it. (comic pop)
Yeah. Being in California,
I thought to myself, “There’s Planned Parenthood. “That’s where
everyone goes, right? “Whose not gonna
get help from them?” So I go in and I wait,
and I look around, and I’m the only man there. There’s probably
10-12 different girls all with their own issue. I’m there with a broken
penis, I can’t judge. I go up to talk to the
woman at the counter. She says to me, “What
is your problem?” “Oh, it’s kind of personal. “I was hoping to have
the doctor look at it.” “Listen, in order
for us to help you, “we need to know what
you need help with. “We can’t just bring
you back here.” “Ma’am, I broke my penis.” Look around, no one’s
really reacting, so maybe it’s not that strange. She goes, “Okay, how
bad is the break?” “I don’t think it’s too
bad, I just want someone “to look at my penis.” “We can’t do that.” “You can’t do that?” “Yeah, that’s not
in our specialty.” “But you guys are doctors.” “I can’t do this for you.” “You can’t just
look at my penis?” “No.” “I’m begging you.” “No.” “Please let me
behind those doors.” “We can’t do that.” “Look at my genitals.” She said, “No, go to the ER.” Go to the ER? I’m gonna go to the Emergency
Room, wait three hours, have some weird old
doctor look at my dick, laugh a little, then
charge me $5,000? I’m not doing that. So I decided the best
course of action, just kind of ice it
and leave it alone and try my hardest not to get
an erection for two weeks, which is hard if you’re
13, but as an adult man whose penis is broken (laughs), was very easy to
not get a boner. Even if I wanted to
have an erection, I felt half my dick get
hard and the other half just kind of fill with blood. The first thought in my head
was, “My penis is broken, “my penis is broken,
my penis is broken, “my penis is broken.” In summary, if before, you know,
I got a 10 out of 10 boner, (crew laughs)
it still works. I’m scared, so I just
don’t think about it. Don’t have sex in the shower. (upbeat music) It’s like when you watch a
skateboarder fall in a video, and it’s like, “Ooh,”
it’s like the sound when they hit the ground. You don’t want the impact sound. I don’t know if that was
a great analogy (laughs). (crew laughs)
I’m so sorry. (funky music)

27 thoughts on “Noah Grossman’s Penis Popped During Shower Sex – Sex Fails”

  1. Its so weird hearing noah talk about sex, i still see him as that 17 year old , whem he first started smosh, hes still a baby

  2. Bro, I tell my bf this all the time- no shame about still living with the parents in your 20s. Rake in that cash savings while you can!

  3. First of penis popping name hilarious. Also fuck that person who laughed out loud at you. I know that as a man especially that's ur lkvely hood. But, also not a big deal I understand the sacrifice ur making. That bill would have been crazy. 😂😘😍. Such a big fan Noah l❤️ u. Everyone knows that the most dangerous sex is shower sex. It's quite common to have accident because water and slippery ground. U literally took one for the team bro.

  4. Are you saying your white ass with fragile rock haircut suddenly crossed my the line and messed up kermets girlfriend? You look like peanut from Jeff Dunham.

  5. Noah planned parenthood isn't going to be able to help you. They aren't medical professionals that specialize in everything. The only thing those "doctors" know how to do is perform abortions. And, even if some of them were qualified, planned parenthood is a women's clinic only. This sounds really major dude, don't try to fix it at home you need to go to a real doctor and make sure you take care of it so you don't have issues in the long run.

  6. AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  7. Dude….i cant believe i ended up watching. I still cant believe you popped it…damn that sucks. Hope ur ok

  8. I don’t think of him as a baby like he looks like a grown up now lol so it’s like yea… I’m sure he has sex

  9. What??? Noah no!?? Ur the Smosh baby. U don’t have shower sex. I still remember when you’d never had a girlfriend.

  10. I’m actually nauseous. This is so disgusting. It would literally scar me for life if I that happened to someone I was with

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